Paint It Black
by QueenNothingness
Summary: Marie and her best friend Reinke are with Reinke's younger sister, Eva, on a vacation in Birmingham. By chance they fall back into time and end up in Birmingham during the time of the Peaky Blinders. John Shelby seems quite enamoured with the Belgian girl Marie, but if the peaky blinders are in danger, Marie wonders how far John's loyalty will go. Even to his own wife. John x oc
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

**If I look hard enough into the setting sun  
My love will laugh with me before the morning comes**

Marie cannot stop her heart from jumping up in fear when she hears John's voice outside, and once again that nagging feeling comes back, as if something is _very wrong._

Reinke's gaze crosses hers, and a tight smile comes onto her friend's face, but Marie can see the worry and fear in her friend's grey eyes. Eva sits quietly next to her sister, the now eighteen year old's big eyes falling onto Marie as well.

It strikes her once more how alike the sisters are, both with blonde hair and grey eyes, you would think them twins, if it wasn't clear that Reinke is ten years older.

Marie stands up with a sigh, trying to lighten the mood and ignoring the tension that is as thick as a knife in the room. 'I am going to see what is John is up to. Do you mind checking on the kids, Eva? Just to make sure they are allright?'

Eva nods, standing up and marching through the door, heels clicking steadily on the floor as she goes upstairs. Marie walks into the hallway, Reinke eventually deciding to do the same, standing in the dooropening as John appears with..._Michael?_

'What's going to happen? It's fucking Christmas!' Marie hears John say, Reinke's eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. 'Michael?' she whispers. Her lighthaired friend holds up her hand to shush Reinke and walks further into the hallway, intend on finding out what is going on. Marie opens the door just as John and Michael appear.

'Just come to the meeting.' Michael sighs, exasperated as John answers, a smile appearing on the Shelby's face at his wife's arrival. 'Come into the house. Have some food...' John begins, but Reinke sees it. Michael is about to _snap._

'What is going on, Michael?' Marie decides to intervene, stepping around her husband who shakes his head and mutters something under his breath, shotgun still in hand.

'Tommy says they could come for us today, Marie.' Reinke's heart stutters to a halt as she approaches as well, John letting her through. 'Who?' Reinke asks making Michael quieten, the Gray cousin falling silent as he tries _not_ to remember the situation he and the blonde haired woman before him are in.

He and Reinke are not exactly on speaking terms, him being the reason she and Eva went to stay with John and Marie in the first place. But Reinke can see it, something akin to fear in his eyes. So she ignores the awkward silence and stops before him, her voice snapping him out of his thoughts.

'Who, Michael Gray?! _Who_ is coming for us?!' Reinke bites out, Marie taking a step back at her friend's angry and frustrated tone.

'_**Who?!' **_Reinke screams, pushing Michael making him stagger back a step or two. 'The maffia, allright?' Reinke stumbles back into Marie just as Eva appears in the doorway, gasping in fright. _'The maffia?' _Marie screeches, the fear clear in her voice.

'Eva, the kids! Go and get the kids _now_! I will be there in a minute!' Reinke staggers, Michael supporting her. 'Marie, fucking _calm down_!' John sighs, grabbing his wife by the arm and calling for Eva, who is thundering up the steps towards the rooms of the kids. 'Michael, can you fucking stop for a minute and stop frightening my wife?!' John snaps at his cousin when Marie's big eyes, filled with fear and worry, meet his.

'You should be afraid, John!' His cousin shouts back, Reinke taking a deep breath and turning back to Michael. 'This is the_ New York Maffia _we are talking about!' Marie bites her lip and shakes her head, trying to free herself from John's grip.

'We are going with Michael, John Shelby. It is way too dangerous!' Marie snaps, still wrangling herself from her husband's grip. 'Calm down, Marie!' The drawl in his voice that normally calms her, only making her more nervous this time around. 'We are the peaky _fucking_ blinders!'

'The maffia, John! _The maffia!'_ Marie screams again, her hysteria turning into sobs as she tries to calm her breathing. 'We need to go! _Please!'_

'Calm down, love. Calm down!' John whispers, his head coming to the same level as hers, eyes boring into Marie's frightened ones. She shudders out a breath, her cheek eventually falling against John's chest. She still lets out an ocassional sob as her husband wraps her into his ams, but the hysteria is at least gone.

'We're not, John.' Michael says, Reinke holding onto his arm as she tries to stay calm. Her friend has already lost it, it would not be good if she allows the fear to take her as well.

'We're not the peaky fucking blinders unless we are together.' A silence falls over them, the only sound heard is Eva upstairs waking up the kids and preparing them to leave.

'John?' Michael says again, Marie nodding at her husband, now remarcably calmer. 'John, come to the meeting allright? Think about the kids. Reinke and Eva. Your _wife_.' Marie turns around and gives Michael a shaky smile, John looking to the house and than back to Reinke, who also nods in confirmation.

'Come to the meeting and if you want to leave after, than fine.' John sighs but than shrugs. 'Allright. Go and get ready, Reinke. Love, you go and help Eva with the kids, yeah?'

'The kids are ready to leave.' A voice pipes up at that same moment, Eva standing in the doorway with a tight smile. 'Go ahead, Reinke. I will be there in a minute.' Marie smiles in confirmation and than turns around, her ears picking up the sound of hooves.

A horse, this time in the morning on Christmas Day? Weird. John's wife steps forward, seeing a white horse with a carriage filled to the brim with hay coming by their house. 'What?' Marie mutters, as her face turns into one of horror and fear as several men with guns appear from behind the hay.

John curses, loading the shotgun. Michael looks up, his lips calling out Reinke's name as he sees the italians appear. 'Reinke! IN THE HOUSE!'

Reinke turns, hair slapping around as she sees what is happening around her. 'Eva, seek cover!' Eva's older sister screeches as Michael pushes her to the door, the woman stumbling over her own feet.

'Into the house, love!' John snarls, his wife seemingly frozen in fear, eyes still looking wide eyed at the men before her. 'In the house_ now,_ Marie!'

Details seem to be fuzzy afterwards. She remembers running to John and coming to a halt before him, his eyes widening when he sees what happens. She blinks dumbly, wondering why John is screaming at her to _move._ Then there is pain as she hears the _snap, snap, snap_ from gunshots.

Her body convulses, air stuck in her throat as an animallike noise leaves it, body bowing forward, spit running down her mouth. _Pain, pain, pain_ in her arm and her leg and ooh red red red; _**all red.**_

She looks down, trying to pinpoint where the pain is coming from and sees red, red, red; red blossoming on her right shoulder, her right arm and right leg, the silk of her stockings now red and _disgusting_ with blood.

Her blood soon falling from her mouth like a waterfall, no stopping it, just flowing and flowing.

'MARIE!' 'REINKE!' is all she hears from John's and Eva's mouths, before everything turns dark.

'Just drive, Eva!' is the next thing she hears John snap, a gurgle coming from her mouth as she opens her eyes and understands she is more lying than sitting in John's lap, both hands pressed against her right shoulder, arm and leg. Or he is attempting at the very least to keep pressure on all three wounds at the same time, but from the wild look in his eyes, she can deduct he is failing.

Her gaze falls on the kids, ones she has grown to love as if they are her own, four pair of frightened eyes looking at her. She wants to tell them everything will be allright, but she cannot seem to get the words out. Her eyes fall on a bloody and shocked Eva, her white dress now soaked red with blood, her white hands gripping the steering wheel.

She hears a scream of pain from besides them, and her heart makes a little jump as she sees a screaming and groaning Reinke in the car next to them, a cursing Michael next to her in the drivers' seat, her friend seemingly holding her leg with her right hand, Michael gripping Reinke's left hand, in support or keeping her from fainting, she does not know.

'Keep pressure on it, Reinke. Keep pressure on it!' Michael snarls, but she can hear the worry in his voice, as another scream comes from her friend's lips, followed by a wrenching sob.

They drive over a hole in the road and that seems to stop the adrenaline that is pumping through her veins, the searing pain coming back. A pained groan leaves Marie's lips, as John's head turns and his eyes fall on hers.

'Hold on, love. We are almost there.' Marie coughs, her cheek falling against John's neck. 'The italians?' she whispers, her breath rattling everytime her chest moves. And she is so _very_ tired.

John's jaw hardens for an instant, before he gives her a smirk, but it does not reach his eyes. 'Dealt with for the moment.' Eva mutters, a blurry smile thrown Marie's way.

'Stay with me, love.' Another curse falls from her husband's lips, as Eva shifts gears and drives even faster.

'Stay with me.' A grin makes it's way to her face, Marie patting her husband on his cheek, leaving bloody fingertips in it's trail. His voice is becoming static, she has no idea what he is saying. The pain has subdued at least for now, she feels numb more than anything, actually. But she still hears it, that drawl she has come to love so much.

So she takes it with her into the blissfull dark, and this time, Marie is not afraid.

**No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue  
I could not foresee this thing happening to you**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1 AKA What the hell is going on?**

**A little clarification, since Reinke and Marie are Belgian, the bold and italics is them so called speaking in dutch/flemish. Since I do not want to write everything in that language and than translate, it seems easier this way. I am sorry if any information about modern day Birmingham is incorrect, since I am not from there, I have searched a bit about things to do when you go on vacation there (which i plan to do, one day). I am sorry if anything else is wrong, I am still new to the Peaky Blinders world, but I love it. Enjoy! - QueenNothingness**

**So could you stay with me, lay with me  
Talking 'bout nothing? Yeah (Oh)**

Marie bobs her head as she listens to the music that seems to be surrounding her, eyes closed as the sun peeks through them. _**'Eva, I am serious! Get back here!' **_She hears her best friend Reinke snap, a grin appearing on her lips as Reinke's twelve year old sister sticks out her tongue and runs away from them, hiding behind a tree.

'_**Fine, I am not coming to get you.' **_Reinke mutters underneath her breath, but a forgiving smile lights her face as she looks at her smiling friend. Reinke sits down on the blanket next to Marie, grabbing one of Marie's headphones. She closes her eyes and mouths the lyrics to Camila Cabello's _Dream Of You_, lying down next to her friend. _**'Our last day, already.'**_ Reinke whispers, as Marie sighs but nods.

'_**It was nice to invite me along. I really needed some time away from home.' **_Marie looks at the clouds that are passing by, the sun warming her now tanned skin. Normally she is as white as a sheet. _**'Reinke, come and play!'**_ Eva shouts, stomping her foot, a pout appearing on her face. _**'Not now, Eva.' **_Reinke groans, closing her eyes as she seems to fall back asleep.

'_**I'll come with you, Eva. Let's go for another walk, yeah? Have a look around the Arrow Valley Country Park?'**_ Eva smiles in agreement, the quirky twelve year old having energy for ten. Reinke and Eva's aunt lives in Birmingham. So when they decided to come and visit her, they invited Marie along.

Marie has had a tough year to say in the least. Her parents separating, her father being angry at her for staying with her mother and pretty much abandoning her. The only thing that seems to be working out at the moment is work. The rest, not so much.

Marie can only hope 2020 will be better.

Reinke raises an eyebrow at her shorthaired friend, the blonde girl nodding. Marie used to have very long hair, the strands almost reaching her butt. But than her parents divorced and Marie _just._..wanted a new start. She cut her hair into a lob style, her hair but a little bit longer than Reinke's blonde hair, she always having had short hair (bob style).

The only one with long hair now is Eva. If you saw the three together, you would think them related in some way. Like distant cousins maybe.

Where Reinke and Eva's hair is almost golden blond, Marie's hair is a few tints darker. _**'You do not mind?'**_ Reinke asks once more as confirmation, Marie shaking her head. Her friend grabs her small backpack with a bottle of water and some snacks, putting it on her shoulders.

It is august but still rather hot. '_**No, ofcourse not. You rest a bit, okay? Eva and I will go and take a walk.'**_ Reinke smiles thankfully, stretching her legs and arms, her tanktop riding up her belly. _**'Than you can work some more on your tan.'**_ Marie teases, Reinke sputtering and throwing her slipper after her friend.

Marie grabs Eva with her hand but is still laughing when they start walking, Eva eventually joining in. They spend the next hour walking around the park, Eva's energy slowly dwindling. They stop at a bench and sit down, Marie giving her bottle of water to Eva together with a snack.

'_**Are you ready to go back to school?' **_Marie asks as Eva groans, shaking her head._** 'I am a bit scared to be honest. Going to a new school, it is...' 'Scary?'**_ Marie asks while Eva swings her legs, biting her lip and nodding.

'_**I know it is. But you'll make new friends, just be your kind and fun self.'**_ Marie comforts, grabbing one of Eva's braids that has loosened and rebraiding it. _**'And if your hair looks pretty, like it is now, it will help as well.'**_ Eva smiles at that, both girls falling into a companiable silence as they look over the lake.

Clouds seem to be rolling over the blue and sunkissed sky and turn dark very quickly. Marie's brown eyes look up to the sky, a worried feeling starting to churn in her belly. _**'I think we need to go, Eva. A storm seems to be arriving. Why don't we go back to your aunt's house, pack our stuff and watch a movie, like your aunt proposed?' **_

Eva nods quietly, the weather worrying her as well. Marie's grip on her friend's little sister is tight as they walk back to where they left Reinke, her friend already having put everything in her backpack. _**'I think we should go.'**_ Reinke offers, hugging her sister to her stomach just as the first thunder sounds.

Than it starts to _pour._ _**'Maybe we should wait a little bit longer until the rain is less harsh?' **_Marie calls over the thunder, the wind also picking up. _**'Isn't it dangerous to stay here?' **_Reinke sputters, Eva trying to hide in her sister's belly, her arms tight around her sister's middle. Marie takes her sweater and gives it to Eva, so the poor girl who is only wearing a summerdress and sandals has it a bit warmer.

'_**We cannot leave, we'll be drenched in minutes!'**_ Marie counters as Reinke looks again at the sky, the clouds turning darker and darker by the moment. Another thunder is heard, _loud,_ and this time accompanied by lightning.

'_**You're right, we should leave. Eva, you hold hands with me and Reinke. We're going to make a run for it, okay?'**_ Marie calls out over the wind and thunder and rain, which seems to be beating against them.

'_**Okay, now!' **_Reinke and Marie start running, gripping Eva's hands hard as they almost drag the girl with them. _**'Come on, Eva! Running in the rain, it is fun, right?' **_Reinke laughs, trying to lighten the mood as they make their way out of the park.

Eva gives a small smile, but Marie can feel how the young girl is worried and maybe a little bit scared. They are drenched in seconds, and Marie thanks her good judgement she decided to wear a dark tanktop and dark shorts that come to her knees, with flats.

'_**The wind is getting stronger, Marie!'**_ Reinke shouts over the wind. _**'Let's go and get under that tree until it calms down a bit.'**_ Her friend suggests, the three lone figures taking shelter under the big tree.

Eva is shivering, even with Marie's sweater, and all three of them are drenched and sopping wet. Reinke's sandals make a squelching sound everytime she moves, and she glares at Marie when her friend laughs.

'_**Come on, it's funny!' **_Reinke sighs but than nods, her good mood coming back. 'I hope I do not get a cold from this weather, or else,...' They wait for a while, the storm finally calming down.

At least that is what they think. Just as Marie wants to suggest to move on and go home, the sky lightens almost_ impossibly, so bright, bright, _that Marie has to close her eyes,and than a gush of wind seem to knock them back.

Marie blacks out as she feels her body hitting the branches of the tree and than, _nothing._

**All I do, the whole day through, is dream of you  
All I do, since I met you, is dream of you**

Marie groans and hears voices around her, but it feels as if her head is pounding. She lets out another groan and feels around her, it seems like_ mud_? The blonde girl finally opens her eyes and struggles to understand what she sees.

Rows and rows of houses, mud everywhere. There are no roads here, not like in 2019. _**'What the?'**_ Marie mutters, her fingers, now streaked with mud going to her head. It comes back with blood, some of it is dripping down the side of her cheek and onto the ground. A small wound, thankfully.

It is only now that the voices become clear. 'Oi, you allright, love?' Marie shivers, still drenched as she is, turning her head around and looking at a group of men behind her. She can see how they look at her bare shoulders and her legs making Marie wrap her arms instinctively around her. _**'Where am I?' **_she asks, the man that asked her a question raising an eyebrow.

'Did not understand you there, love. English?' Marie blinks. A brummie accent. So she still is in Birmingham. _**'Birmingham?' **_she whispers as the man nods, the girl on the ground still shivering. She is still wet and covered in mud from her legs to her arms.

'Yes, the Garrison.' The man points behind her. 'Pub?' Marie blinks once more but than nods, looking around her. _**'The Garrison?'**_ Marie says, but it does not ring any bells in her hazy and shocked mind. The man's lips tilt up at her non-English accent slaughtering the name.

'Let me help you up, yeah?' Maire bites her lip and nods, the man grabbing her hands and helping her up. 'Where did you come from? This is not what women around here _usually _wear.' He says, ignoring the snickers from the men behind him. Marie shivers again, tears slowly gathering in her eyes. She shakes her head in confusion, looking around her. Still does not ring any bells.

'No need to cry there, love. We'll get you home, right? Why don't you come in the Garrison first? Get you warm and all that.' Marie is on the point of nodding when she hears a scream piercing the air.

Her heart starts to beat faster as she hears her friend Reinke let out another scream. _**'REINKE!' **_Marie shouts, taking off towards the scream, the man behind her calling for her.

'_**Let me go! Who do you think you are?!' **_She hears Reinke scream in dutch, making Marie go faster. Her world seems to come to a halt as she sees three clearly drunk men pushing Reinke around, the men at the same time trying to get her out of her clothes.

A sob comes from her left side, Marie's gaze falling on a bleeding Eva, crouched in the feutal position against a house. Marie motions for Eva to stay there, her temper getting the better of her.

She sees red and starts to run again, picking up speed as she slams with full force into one of the men, the whole group falling onto the ground.

'LET HER GO**!**' Marie screams in English, struggling underneath the man as she kicks him and pushes him off of her. _'Who_ do you think you are?**!**' Marie screeches at the top of her lungs, trying to scramble up into the mud.

'Let my sister go**!**' a small voice comes from behind Marie, a sobbing Eva standing behind her. 'Please.' Marie is quick to stand up and grab the girl with her arm, the twelve year old holding onto her middle, frame still sobbing hysterically.

'OI, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?**!**' Marie turns and sees the man that had tried to help her out back at the pub, intervening. The three men that had attacked Reinke, leave her bruised friend on the ground, taking a step back.

'We were just...she asked for it**!**' One snaps, pointing at Reinke. 'Does not seem to me like she wanted it, did you now, love?' Reinke shakes her head as she sits up. 'Look at the way she is dressed**!**' Marie's temper flares at that remark. 'Because she is dressed like that you think you have _the right_ to attack her? You sexist pig**! **In what time do you think we live?**! **' Marie snarls back, her grip tightening on Eva.

'What year is it, actually?' Reinke whispers, a bit more composed now that she has time to sit up.

'1919, love. The war, remember?' the man behind them chuckles, the three girls falling silent. 'As for you lot, if you ever touch those women again, you'll hear from the peaky blinders, yeah? Now, scram**! '**

Marie's eyes widen, but she has no time to react. The blinder that has helped them, helps Reinke up and tells them to follow him to the Garrison, seeing the state the three girls are in.

The pub falls silent when they walk in, a bleeding Marie first, followed by a muddy Reinke and bleeding Eva. 'Sit down here, lassie. Harry, get them something to drink, will ya?' Marie sits down, a scared smile appearing on her lips as Reinke and Eva join them, the youngest girl shivering and hiding her face in her sister's stomach.

Reinke takes a sip from the drink before her, her eyes closing with the burn that comes with the whisky. Marie gives a thankful smile at the man that gives her a drink, the pub around them still silent.

'Here, hold this to you head.' Harry says, giving Marie a piece of cloth. 'Thank you.' The man that has helped them, chuckles and sits across from them. 'You are clearly not from around here.'

Reinke lets out a bitter laugh at that, shaking her head. 'No, I, _we_ were born in Belgium.' Marie whispers, teary eyes falling on the man before her. 'What are you doing in Birmingham than, love?'

Reinke bites her lip, shaking her head at that. Marie takes a shaky breath. 'I don't know. I don't...' Eva has started sobbing again, her sniffling becoming louder.

'_**1919\. What fucking happened?' **_Reinke snaps, but her voice is small and scared. _**'I don't know. I think we went back into time?'**_ Marie says, shrugging._** 'Yeah, sure. Because this all fucking makes sense!' **_Reinke shouts, the men around them looking at them in confusion. They have reverted back to their native language.

'I did not understand you there, love?'

'_**Do not scream at me, Reinke! I have no idea what happened.'**_ She sees her friend snap in that moment, Marie's best friend's grey eyes glaring at her with fury.

'_**Yeah, because here we are, stuck in 1919 Birmingham with the fucking Peaky Blinders! The peaky blinders, Marie! One of the most notorious gangs of this time! FUCK!' **_Reinke roars, standing up and starting to pace. Eva's big eyes look at her sister, Marie also sitting still, scared any movement she makes will make her friend go off.

'_**WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, MARIE?!'**_ Reinke screeches. _**'SHIT!' **_Reinke takes her glass and throws it away, the glass shattering against the door of the back room the Shelby siblings sit, unbeknownst to Reinke.

Marie shakes her head, Eva now grabbing her middle. 'I don't know.' She says again in English. 'I really don't.'

The man before her opens his mouth to question what the hell was said, no one having understood anything of Reinke's tirade, looking at her as if she is crazy. Just than, the door opens and none else than John and Arthur Shelby walk out.

'What the _fuck_ is going on in here, Harry?' the barman shrugs, pointing to Reinke. Marie only now sees her friend is frozen in fear, eyes wide when she understands _what_ she has done. 'Well?' Arthur Shelby asks, cold glare fixated on Reinke.

Than her friend starts to cough and starts to shudder, the shock finally becoming too much. Reinke's body seems to shut down, her eyes falling back into her head and than she stumbles, crashing to the ground without a sound.

'REINKE!' Eva sobs from beside Marie, the Shelby brothers now glaring at the other blonde girl. 'I am starting to grow old here. Maybe you can tell me, ey? What the _fuck_ is going on in here?!' Arthur roars.

'Fucking calm down, Arthur.' John rolls his eyes, his gaze falling on Marie and than on Eva. 'There is a child present. Don't want Pol to get mad at you for cursing in the presence of a little girl, yeah?'

He saunters over to Marie, his eyes still on her and never breaking contact with the girl's terrified ones. He seems friendly enough, but she can see the _violence _underneath that friendliness. He is waiting for her to make a wrong move and _pounce_, as if she is prey.

'I found her in the street in front of the Garrison.' The man that helped her, speaking up. 'She than fell onto her friend being attacked by three drunks, the little one hidden against the facade of a house.'

'So, tell me, love.' John says, cold eyes still glaring at Marie. She than remembers the stories about their caps and the razors hidden in it. It makes her want to swallow, the lump in her throat only growing bigger. 'What is going on? You tell us, and we won't have to hurt you and the little one, yeah?'

Marie looks right back into his blue eyes, gathering some of her dwindling courage, trying to ignore her beating heart. 'My name is Marie Willems. I was born in Belgium. That there is Reinke and this is her sister, Eva.' Marie whispers, a small smile appearing on her lips as she looks at Eva.

'As for what is going on, I have no idea.' John Shelby raises an eyebrow. 'What do you mean, lass?' Harry says, joining them at her table.

'I have no idea how I ended up here. I _really _don't.' Marie admits, some tears gathering once more in her eyes. 'And I have no idea how to go home either.'

She closes her eyes as she tries to gather herself, Eva still hugging her hard. 'It seems...we are stuck here.' John steps back, but she sees the disbelief in his eyes.

'Than you have a problem, love.' Marie swallows and tries to ignore the rising hysteria, a lone tear rolling over her mudstreaked face.

'Yes, we're _fucked._' Eva whimpers at that, the man before Marie shushing her. 'Don't be so glum, love. Try not to scare the little one too much. We'll find a way to get you home, yeah?' Marie looks up once more, nodding at that.

'Drink a little bit more, love. You'll feel a bit better.'

Marie sighs but takes the glass of whiskey, downing it in one go. Her throat burns as she lets out a little cough, another tear that is brimming in her eyes, spilling over and leaving a trail on her cheek. Her gaze falls on Reinke, who Arthur has helped up, her friend propped up against one of the benches, still unconscious.

The blonde girl looks at the door of the Garrison that opens, more blinders walking in, a glimpse of the setting sun's rays peeking in.

And as she does her best not to start sobbing hysterically, she cannot stop thinking, _how_ in the Lord's name is she going to go home?

How? This time, it seems Marie does not have an answer.

**All I do, the whole day through, is dream of you  
All I do, since I met you, is dream of you**

**So could you stay with me, lay with me  
Talking 'bout nothing? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2: You get used to everything, even things you never wanted to get used to**

**Put on perfume only for you**

**Shining brighter than a diamond**

**Bling bling on my body**

**So I can be a little more clear**

**When I show myself, black dress**

Marie groans as she turns under her covers, the old bed creaking with her movement. She tries to ignore the sun that is streaming through the windows, but the sun is getting brighter minute by minute, so she does not have much of a choice.

Marie sighs and opens her eyes, turning her gaze to the wall so her sight can adjust for a minute. She hears someone moving in the room next to hers, and she can hear Eva's joyful voice, another softer voice asking to be less loud.

Where they live now, there is not much place. They moved in here unexpectedly, so there had to be some _adjustments_ made. Marie received a small room that was supposed to be for storage, for herself. It is tiny, and she can barely cramp a bed, a nighttable and a small closet in it, but she is so _very_ thankful.

Eva and Reinke share a room, and Reinke had been scared Eva would not be very happy with this, but her sister has never said anything. Marie supposes it is because Reinke and Marie are one of the few familiar things that reminds her of home. They have been here for a few months now, and still do not know how to go back home.

Marie wonders if that will ever be the case.

She shakes her head as she puts on a nightrobe, not yet ready to get ready. The clothes are so _different_ in this time, and Marie still needs to get used to the stockings and heels and whatever other layers women need to wear in this time and age.

'**Good morning, Marie!' **Eva shouts as she thunders down the stairs, dressed for school, Marie groaning a reply in return. '**Still not a morning person, right?' **Reinke asks as Marie turns her head and nods at her friend.

'Speak in English, please.' Peter tutts, but a smile is apparent on his lips. 'Hannah will not understand you.' Reinke throws a small apologetic smile to her uncle's wife, the woman giving her a warm smile back.

She is quite an amazing woman, Hannah. She has been married to Reinke's and Eva's uncle for about six years and did not even blink an eye when her husband came home with three girls, exclaiming two of them were his nieces.

She had given them one look, told her husband they would rearrange the rooms in the house, and that was that.

And you wonder, Reinke's uncle? Well, Marie thinks to herself, it is quite a complicated story. She takes a sip of her cup of tea as she closes her eyes, remembering how that happened. And than she reminds herself she still needs to find the blinder that helped them.

She does not even know his name.

'_You can stay here for a few weeks until you figure out what you want to do.' The blinder says, Marie giving him a thankful but still shaky smile. She has not seen him afterwards._

_Eva has been inscribed in school and Marie and Reinke are going to try and find work tomorrow. The three girls, now in appropriate garb, are just stepping out of the shops when a voice makes Reinke stop in her tracks. _

'_Reinke?!' Marie's friend looks up, her eyes widening at the man before her, the bags she had been holding in her hands falling to the ground. 'Uncle?' Reinke whispers full of disbelief, a second later running to her uncle, keeping herself from sobbing hysterically as she hugs the man in front of her._

_Her uncle Peter, who had been missing for several years, here in __**Birmingham**__. Eva raises an eyebrow, a confused look crossing as Marie shrugs. The man was quick to introduce himself, having told his story eerily simlar to the girls. _

_He had ended up here about eight years ago, and tried to survive ever since. 'Where are you staying?' Marie sighs, shaking her head. 'At the moment, in a dingy hotel until we figure out our next move.' _

_Reinke's uncle gives her a sincere smile. 'That is settled than. You are coming with me.'_

'Earth to Marie?' Reinke asks, a grin appearing on Hannah's lips. 'I will bring Eva to school. You get ready and go with Hannah to the shop, yes?' Marie nods, eating the rest of her breakfast as she helps clear the table and goes back upstairs, Hannah bidding Eva a good day at school.

Marie and Reinke work in Hannah's clothing shop, trying to earn a living for themselves. A part of their wage is held for room and board, the rest they can do with as they please.

The morning air is cold and clears Marie's head, Hannah softly explaining something about the shop. The sun is peaking through the clouds and a smile lights Marie's face up, humming as she follows Hannah into the shop.

It is hard work, but it makes Marie and Reinke feel useful, grateful as they are life is minor or less falling into place.

The days slowly pass by as the heat of summer slowly goes to the colder weather of autumn. They have not run into any other blinders, and Reinke's uncle has been adamant they stay out of the gang's way.

Even though Marie suspects Peter's business is not entirely legal either, and he might actually be working with the peaky blinders.

'Can you go and get Eva from school? I really need to finish this and Hannah is still busy with a customer.' Reinke almost begs, her friend nodding. The fresh air will do her good. 'Where are you going, Marie?' Hannah asks, eyebrow raised. 'I'm going to go and get Eva at school. She still loses her way around here.'

Hannah smiles and nods, Marie shouting a goodbye as the door falls closed behind her. Marie humms a song under her breath as she approaches the school, Eva standing before the building and talking excitedly with some girls about her age.

'**Marie!' **Eva calls out, her face lighting up as she runs to her sister's friend. **'Reinke is not coming today?'** Marie shakes her head.** 'She had something to finish at the shop. Are you ready to go?' **Eva nods, turning around and shouting at her friends she will see them tomorrow.

'**Marie, since it is a beautiful day, what do you think about going to the Cut?' **The lighthaired girl has a bewildered look on her face that makes Eva laugh. **'I will show you.' **

Marie shrugs and nods, deciding Hannah and Reinke will not think too much about it, if they go there for a little while. Still, she sees one of the girls working at Hannah's shop and asks the girl to relay the message they are going to the Cut.

Marie follows Eva to the Cut, wherever that is, and soon sees they are at a canal of some sorts. She decides it is innocent enough and sits down, coat on the ground, Eva running to somewhere in the near vicinity.

It is almost getting dark when Marie decides it is time to go home, when she hears Eva approaching with two_ boys_ abouty her age. **'Marie! I want to introduce you to someone!'** Marie nods, standing up and dusting off her dress.

'This is Finn Shelby and Isaiah Jesus, two boys from my class.' Eva beams, Marie trying to ignore the shock that wants to appear on her face at the boys' name.

_Shelby?_ As in_ John and Arthur Shelby?_

'Nice to meet you.' Marie smiles, reverting back to English. 'I am Marie.' 'Are you not her sister?' Isaiah asks, genuine curiosity on his face. Marie laughs at that, shaking her head. 'No, Reinke is Eva's sister. I am Reinke's best friend who is living with them.'

'It's getting late. Do you want me to take you home?' Marie asks, the boys both exclaming they do not need it, but since they are going the same way, they might as well. Eva and her classmates are talking between themselves, Marie content to follow them.

'We have arrived. My Aunt Polly should be here. Do you want to come in? Your uncle should be here as well.' Marie tries to ignore the blinders who are staring her down at the door, but let her in when she and Eva follow Finn.

Her face flushes, Eva eeping and hiding behind her when every man in the room stares at her. Marie bites her lip, jaw straining under the stress. Her hands are getting sweaty. She has never been good with being the center of attention.

'What are you doing here, ey?' Arthur Shelby asks, staring Marie down. Eva refuses to be scared, pointing to her uncle who is in the office speaking with Thomas Shelby, Marie assumes.

'We are here for my uncle.' Eva smiles, Arthur's face becoming less harsh when the girl pipes up. 'Eva, Marie?' Peter says, a strained look on his face. 'Finn and Isaiah are in my class. They said you were here. Are you coming home with us?'

Peter looks at Marie who shrugs. 'What she said.' The room falls silent as Peter clears his throat, the screech of a child interrupting the silence. A little boy is running around, a cursing John Shelby behind him, when the child runs into Marie and almost falls to the ground.

Marie is quick to grab him with his arm, hosting him up and settling the child on her arm. She has always loved children. 'Are you allright?' The little boy blinks at her and than nods, Marie giving him a warm smile back.

She is just about to put him back down when John Shelby appears, stopping before her. 'We meet again.' Marie's smile drops, a tense silence filling the room. 'Mind giving my kid back, love?' The sarcasm is clear in his voice and Marie rolls her eyes.

John's jaw clenches, eyes starting to fill with fury. 'Be nice to her, John.' Polly Gray intervenes. 'If it were not for her, he would have fallen to the ground.'

John mutters something under his breath, but than snarls a thank you to Marie, grabbing the child from her arms.

'**Let's go home, girls.'** Peter says, Eva bidding Finn and Isaiah goodbye. '**Are you working with them?'** Marie asks, stopping in her tracks. Peter sighs but than nods. **'Yes, I am.' **Eva raises an eyebrow, the girl reverting back to English without a thought. 'You are working with the, what were they called, ...?' Marie's eyes seem to spit fire. 'Peaky blinders, is it? You are working with _them_?'

The lighthaired girl turns around, her gaze falling on the men, in the room.** 'I figured your business was not entirely legal but to work with them...'**

Peter raises an eyebrow.** 'A bit judgmental, no?'** Marie blinks and than her shoulders drop. **'I am sorry. You are right. It's just...'**

'**It's different than at home.'** Marie nods, now silent but when she looks up at Reinke's uncle, there is no anger in his eyes.

She should be more grateful. He has clothed and fed them, even if he should not have.

'**I'm thankful, I just, I keep on hoping we will be able to go home.'** Marie whispers, Eva's joy also dimming.

'**I fear that is not an option, Marie.'** Peter says, nodding at Thomas and turning around. **'No matter what you think, you get used to it.' 'Even the difficult things?'** Peter smiles, nodding as he takes Eva's hand.

'**Especially the hard things.** Say goodbye, Eva. Marie.' Marie turns, feeling so very tired at once and nods at everyone, Eva giving a small but sad wave at Finn and Isaiah.

It is by walking outside she meets the blinder who has helped them. 'Found somewhere to stay, love?' the man says, a smile crinkling his eyes. Marie nods, extending her hand and shaking his.

'Thank you very much, for everything.' The man lets out a booming laugh, shaking his head. 'No problem, sweetheart.' He turns to Eva and Peter, smiling at them as well. 'Give my regards to your sister and the missus, eh?'

Marie gives him another smile as she nods, following Peter and Eva back home.

That night, she cannot seem to fall asleep. John Shelby's eyes seem to be bored into her brain.

When she eventually does fall asleep, her dreams are filled with him. _Only_ him. And it is in the privacy of her mind, that Marie admits that he is very intriguing and charming.

Agressive, overprotective, cocky but _intriguing_. And Marie is a bit scared what that could mean.

**Putting on makeup just for you**

**Let's get closer than yesterday**

**You know this feeling too**

**So I can be a little more clear**

**When I show myself, black dress**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3: Weight of the World**

**Feels like the weight of the world  
Like all my screaming has gone unheard  
And oh, I know you don't believe in me  
Safe in the dark, how can you see?**

Screaming. Marie's eyes open in a flash, her heart pounding as she almost jumps up in her bed. She searches for the lamp on her nightstand and turns it on, her gaze falling on the opposite wall.

Eva's screaming has changed into sobbing, a soft voice comforting her. Marie groans but steps out of bed, grabbing her robe and putting it on. Since the tiles underneath her feet are still cold, she more hopps than walks to the room next to hers.

Marie's head peaks in through the door, her gaze falling on Reinke who gives her a small smile. Eva's sobbing has ceased, Hannah giving the young girl a glass of water. 'Are you feeling better?' Hannah asks, as Eva bites her lip but nods.

'If you need anything, I will be in my room.' Reinke gives their aunt a thankful smile, Hannah nodding at Marie when they cross each other in the doorway.

Reinke sighs as her best friend walks in and closes the door behind her. _**'A nightmare again?' **_Eva nods, Reinke whispering something to her younger sister.

'_**Let's try and get some more sleep. You have school tomorrow and we need to work.' **_Reinke sighs, but Eva stops her in her tracks. A pleading look is all it takes, but Reinke understands.

'_**Fine, you can sleep with me.'**_ Marie grins, jumping on Eva's bed. _**'I'll sleep here. We'll keep the monsters away, yes?' **_

Eva is quick to fall asleep in Reinke's arms, the friends' gazes crossing each other across the room. And Reinke does not need to say it. That she is thankful for Marie.

They need to stick together, since they only have left each other.

The next morning it is Peter that comes to wake them up. It has been long since they have had it this hard to wake up. 'You do not look very good, Reinke.' The lighthaired girl shrugs, taking a quiet Eva by the hand to take her to school.

The walk to the schoolbuilding is quiet, both Eva and Reinke too tired and homesick to say anything. Because that is what it all comes down to.

Now it is crystalclear that they will not be going home, they miss their family. Their parents. And Reinke, already homesick enough, can only imagine how difficult it has to be for her little sister to cope, not having her mother close.

'Eva!' Reinke looks up and sees Isaiah waving at them. 'Go on, have fun.' A real smile finally appears on the twelve year old girl's face, waving at her sister and following Isaiah into the school.

Reinke and Marie are quiet in the following days, the truth left unsaid between them, but even Peter and Hannah are starting to catch on.

They are all homesick. They want to go _home._

The nightmares Eva has are a result of that. Marie really wonders how Peter managed to create a life for himself, knowing he can never go back where he came from. That is what she wonders when she wakes up once more in the middle of the night, but this time it is not Eva waking her up, but her _own _nightterrors.

'You look like shit.' Reinke grins that afternoon as Marie yawns again. It has been the third time in five minutes. 'Maybe you should go outside? Maybe you'll feel less tired.' Marie just wants to answer that is a good idea when they hear Hannah's voice calling them.

The woman's face is worried when Reinke and Marie approach. 'The school called. Eva got into a fight. They want you two to go and pick her up.' Reinke curses under her breath, but nods and goes outside, slamming the door on her way out.

**Feels like the weight of the world  
Like God in heaven gave me a turn  
Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you  
Still in the dark, can you fix me?**

'Reinke, calm down! I am sure there is a logical explanation for it!' Marie tries to shush her friend who is marching to the school, the anger rolling off of her in waves.

Reinke is fuming by the time she walks into the classroom, Polly Gray already sitting next to Finn and Isaiah with a disapproving look. 'You must be Reinke and Marie.' The girls nod as they both sit down, Reinke's gaze searching Eva's.

The younger girl refuses to look up, deciding to look at her scraped knees instead. 'I have called you here because I am worried about Eva and the influence she has on Finn and Isaiah.' Marie squeezes Reinke's shoulder hard and holds her friend back whose furious gaze has fallen on her younger sister.

'Eva has been falling asleep in class and has been, well, agressive. Today she got into a fight with a girl and some boys. And she...dragged Finn and Isaiah into it as well.' Reinke closes her eyes and sighs.

'Eva? What do you have to say for yourself?' Reinke asks, the anger clear in her voice. 'Tomorrow, you apologize to those kids.' 'But, Reinke, ...' Eva's protest is lost in Reinke's shout.

Normally, Reinke would not shout at her sister, but they are all tired and very quickly irritated. 'You will listen to me, Eva.' Reinke snaps, Eva effectively falling silent. 'Falling asleep in school, fighting with other kids?! That is not how mum and dad have raised you.' Reinke snaps again.

'I don't fucking care what they think! They are not here, are they?!' Eva screams back. '_Watch you__r__ mouth_, Eva. I am serious. You are twelve years old! Who do you think you are to speak like that?'

'Reinke...' Marie tries to intervene, but the warning in her friend's eyes makes her shut up. 'I don't care what you think or whatever you have in mind that makes this behavior okay to you. Dragging your friends into a fight? No. You apologize to those kids tomorrow. I mean it, Eva. And that is final.'

Eva bites her lip, tears starting to gather in her eyes. 'What would you care? You are never home!' Eva snaps, jumping up and running out of the door. 'EVA!' Reinke bristles, shaking her head and posture stiff.

Reinke gives an apologetic smile to the teacher. 'To be honest, Eva has been having nightmares and barely sleeps. She misses our parents. I am her older sister, I cannot be her mother as well.'

The older girl turns to Polly Gray, bowing her head in apology. 'I am sorry she has dragged Finn and Isaiah into this.' Polly snorts. 'They would have gotten into trouble anyway sooner or later.' Reinke gives a small laugh at that.

'I'll go and look for Eva.' Marie offers, winking at Finn and Isaiah. 'And try to stay out of trouble, yeah?' Both boys nod as Marie steps out of the building, when she sees none else than Eva talking to Arthur and John Shelby.

**Free fall, free fall, all through life**

**If you love me then let go of me  
I won't be held down by who I used to be**

'Eva.' Marie admonishes, but the girl looks at her with such a brokenhearted expression she cannot be mad at her. 'I want to go home.'

Marie gives her a sad smile, not really knowing what to say. 'I know. But we can't.' Eva looks down at her feet, biting her lip as a lone tear falls out of her eye. 'Go back inside and apologize to Reinke. I am sure she has calmed down by now.' Marie whispers, the younger girl sighing but going inside the school once more.

'Do not be too hard on the little one, eh?' Arthur says, Marie shaking her head and giving him a small smile. 'I will make sure Reinke is not too angry with her sister.' Arthur seems satisfied with that, John Shelby's gaze boring into her head, toothpick lazily hanging from his lips.

'Well, I need to go. Goodbye.' Marie mutters, turning on her heel and starting to walk back to the school.

'What did ya mean?' Marie stops in her tracks, her eyebrow raised as the Shelby that seems to hate her pipes up. 'With what?' The fairhaired woman asks, tapping her foot impatiently.

'That you cannot go home?' Marie raises her eyes to the sky, ignoring the sadness that is churning in her stomach. 'What it means.' John can feel his annoyance rising when the woman shrugs, her eyes veiled and face masked. No emotion present on her rather beautiful face.

'Where are her parents?' Arthur asks, nodding at Eva that is stepping outside with Finn and Isaiah, Reinke talking with Polly behind them. 'It is...complicated.' Marie admits, not really sure what else to say.

'And your parents? Surely you must have some family? Your mother?' Arthur asks, as Marie nods. 'Yes, she is alive.' The girl in front of them admits, just as Reinke and her younger sister join them. Finn and Isaiah stop next to Marie, the girl giving them a small smile.

'And your father?' Arthur asks, as a silence falls over the group. Marie's jaw tenses, her frame going rigid as she seems to close off.

'As I told you, it is complicated.' Reinke sees her friend's mood coming, and decides to intervene. 'We should get going. Come on, Marie.' As Reinke bids goodbye to everyone, Marie follows them but eventually turns around.

The question Arthur has asked is weighing heavily in the air.

'As for my father, he is not dead. But he might as well be.' Marie gives them a bitter laugh. 'To me he is anyway.'

The silence that they leave behind tells enough, but Reinke does not comment on it. The evening passes by quickly and Marie decides she has wallowed in selfpity long enough.

Yes, she wishes she could go home, but it is the way it is. They are stuck here. So she determines to make the best of it.

Tomorrow she is starting a new chapter of her life. A new Marie, who can be anyone or anything she wants. And she hopes with time, the homesickness and sadness will dull. And that only sweet memories will remain.

Even those of her father. Her bitterness is still too great towards him, but she hopes with time, she will be able to be thankful for the time they had together. Not tainted by how their relationship soured in the end.

She hopes her memories will grow sweeter and eventually, into something beautiful.

**If you love me then let go of me**

**I won't be held down by who I was**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4: Kings and Queens**

**Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten**

'_Excuse me?'_ Marie is blinking, her eyes seeming to close and open in slowmotion. Reinke is gaping in shock, doing a very good impression of a fish starved for air. Were it not for the seriousness of the situation, Eva would have burst out laughing. But as it is, the tears are threatening to come through rather than laughter.

'_**How could you?' **_Marie snarls in their native language, their uncle clearly uncomfortable. **'I am sorry, Marie. But I had no choice...'**

Hannah tries to take Marie's hand, but the girl rips it away, stepping back and shaking with barely contained anger and hatred. 'The girl John was supposed to marry, my niece Esme, has been promised to someone else. To stop this war, we..., we needed a replacement. Peter was adamant Reinke not be offered, so...'

Marie lets out a bitter laugh, and Reinke feels a sudden urge to throttle her uncle and aunt and be done with it once and for all. 'So what? You offer _me_ up instead?!' Eva is silent, her still somewhat childish mind trying to understand what the hell is even going on.

'Does this mean... Finn will be family?' Eva pipes up, Reinke closing her eyes and shaking her head. Eva swallows, the guilt visible on her face as she sees Marie getting redder and redder.

The girl she has begun to see as a second sister is minutes from imploding and if they do not defuse the situation, they will be caught in the crossfire. 'If you think any of this will happen with _my permission_, than you have another thing coming.'

Marie's gaze goes to Thomas Shelby, her lips curled back in disgust. 'I am a grown woman and where I come from, women _choose_ themselves whom they marry. I do not care that you are leader of the Peaky Blinders, good luck in marrying me away, Tommy Shelby. It will **not** happen. Over my dead body.'

Everyone is silent as the front door slams shut, Reinke biting her lip and shaking her head at her uncle. He does not know what to say clearly, nor does Hannah, and she can both see guilt in their eyes.

'Reinke...' His oldest niece sighs, holding up her hand and making clear she is not willing to talk to him. Not right now. She takes Eva by the hand, taking a deep breath and walking up the stairs.

'I did not expect this uncle. Of Hannah maybe. But you, who knows where we come from...' Reinke leaves the words hanging in the air, gently pushing her sister inside their shared bedroom.

How could he? And to think everything was going great a few days ago.

Marie has settled more or less at last. She has decided to make the best of her situation and though bouts of homesickness still occasionally plague her, her demeanour is in general much sunnier and happier than before.

Reinke is still somewhat taken aback by all this, especially the food, which is very different than what she normally would eat. She is often sick, and this is one of those days. Marie and Eva are both in a good mood that morning, Eva skipping and jumping over the puddles of rain on the ground, the only reminder of the deluge that fell last night.

A smile comes on Marie's face when she sees Finn and Isaiah both approach, Eva grinning with excitement as she runs to her friends. Marie has to admit she has started to like the two boys.

They may be silly sometimes and they get into more mischief than is good for their age probably, but Eva finally has some friends she really likes, and that is enough for Marie.

'Eva?' Marie asks, eyebrow raising in amusement. Eva gets a sheepish look on her face, running back to Marie and giving her a kiss on the cheek with a shouted 'See you later!', before following the boys into the building.

'Reinke not here today?' A voice asks, Polly Shelby stopping next to the blondehaired girl. Marie still does not know what to think of the woman, as she cannot seem to get any height from her. She seems friendly enough, but there is a certain air to her that all the Shelby's have.

The kind of thing that makes people look up and feel jealous, but Marie has not decided yet if this is a good thing or not.

'She is ill.' Polly says nothing, but her raised eyebrow seems sign enough that she wishes to know more. 'Reinke, _we_, are not used to eating things such as stew. It is very rich and heavy and Reinke, well, her stomach does not always agree with the food she eats.'

'What did you eat where you lived before coming here, if I may inquire?' Marie feels very much like a bug right now, and than she remembers Polly is from a gifted family and has some sixth sense, and she probably knows something is wrong.

Or she feels that something isn't quite right.

'I need to go.' Marie answers instead. 'It was nice to see you, miss Shelby.' Polly snorts but allows the girl to leave, but Marie has seen the look on her face, one John and Tommy Shelby both also have had in their eyes.

They know she is hiding something, and God above help them, they will find out what.

Her gut tells her to be careful, but in the mundane routine of life, it is a warning quickly forgotten.

**I am unwritten, can't read my mind  
I'm undefined  
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand  
Ending unplanned**

Marie is sure now this is an omen she should have seen. But it does not matter. Not anymore.

Reinke gives her friend a sad smile, Marie biting her lip, eyes red from crying but the tears have at least stopped for now. 'I am sorry, Marie. No matter how much I beg or ask, my uncle will not budge.' Reinke croaks, Marie shaking her head, patting her friend on the arm.

'You have tried. I know you did.' The sun is setting and it feels as if her life is over. She has been judged and found guilty, sentenced to a life of no freedom and forced marriage.

She is sure John Shelby is not a bad man, not in the sense he would be someone who abuses or hurts his wife. But it does not change anything about the fact they barely know each other, and that the few interactions they have had, have not exactly been friendly.

And the children, not to forget the children. He has been married before, his wife death long before her time and now Marie is supposed to take their mother's place. She is a 22 year old, almost still herself a child, and now they expect her to be a stepmother to a bunch of kids who are still grieving?

The horror of it makes the bile in her throat rise, not only angry for the turn her life has taken, but also for the impact it will have on innocent kids.

How has all this been decided, you may ask?

Hannah is part of the Lee family, and by extension, so is Peter. Tje Lee family and Pealy Blinders have been in a 'war' of sorts, and to keep things from escalating, Tommy Shelby has come up with the brilliant idea to marry his brother off to a Lee. Since John told him he needed a wife who can help him raise his kids.

But since Esme is promised to someone else, and there are no available other girls, they decided it was a good thing to offer up Marie instead, who is by extension part of the Lee family, since she has been living in Peter's house.

Great idea, isn't it? Marry John Shelby off to a girl who is not only connected to the Lee family, but her 'uncle' also does business with the Peaky Blinders.

Marie has to admit it is a smart move, and she can even admire Thomas Shelby for his brilliant mind, and she probably would hold him in higher regards if she had not been the one who was the sacrificial lamb so to speak.

**Feel the rain on your skin  
No one else can feel it for you  
Only you can let it in  
No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips**

'How are you feeling?' Reinke whispers, as Marie shuffles on her feet, taking deep breaths as she tries to stop the nerves in her belly. She is shaking, she is sure, Reinke giving her yet another drink so she keeps calm.

'No more, Reinke. We do not want Marie to be drunk at her own wedding, now do we?' Peter admonishes, but keeps quiet when Marie throws him a cold glare. Somewhere, she can understand. She _can._

But she still feels too betrayed. Too hurt that a man who has pretty much saved her, is now condemning her to a life she is sure she is not suited for. 'Is she ready?' Hannah asks, as Peter clears his throat and puts the veil over Marie's head.

Reinke gives her hand one last squeeze, before she drags Eva and Hannah outside. 'For what it is worth, I am very sorry, Marie.' The bride to be says nothing but eventually sighs, deciding this is already a day difficult enough without her being bitter and angry at one of the few people she considers family.

'I...I understand. Truly, I do. I just never thought it would be me who is getting married.'

Peter chuckles at that, and Marie allows a smile to appear, holding onto the man's arm as she follows him outside the carriage.

The wedding is being held outside, as per Hannah's instruction. On a sunny hillside. A sort of peace offering to Marie. It is _pretty_, when the sun is setting, Reinke has to admit. Eva, Finn and Isaiah are giggling behind her, so Reinke gives them a stern look, the three still giggling but quieting down.

Marie feels her heels sinking into the grass, and she feels as if she is walking in a swamp. Her breathing is starting to become laboured, and she feels lightheaded, as if there is not enough air around her to take in.

The Lee family is on one side, the Shelby family on the other, Reinke giving Marie an encouraging smile.

**No one else, no one else  
Can speak the words on your lips  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins**

Little Finn and Isaiah are standing next to Eva, having crept over to the Lee's side. She tries to ignore the stares of the Shelby clan and the rest of the Peaky Blinders, the notion she will be part of them soon, an unbearable thought.

She, who had promised herself she would start over. That she would make her own decisions, live her life the way she wanted it. But that is all gone now. All her possibilities and dreams she had, they are gone and buried.

And when she sees John Shelby standing at the very end, the priest in front of him preparing to bind them together for life, she wants to stop and run, run as far as possible and never come back.

But when Marie finally has the courage to look up, her steps taking her closer and closer to him, she can see something else. Underneath his nonchalant exterior, the toothpick hanging lazily from his mouth, she can see the storm that is raging inside him. The storm of emotions that have blended together that she is not sure she can discern what he is feeling.

And maybe, maybe,... One day, they can make it work.

Maybe, ...

Maybe one day the man she will be spending her life with, will not be a stranger.

Maybe, ...

Maybe one day.

They will be _more_ than just strangers.

**Unwritten, unwritten  
The rest is still unwritten**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5: Is this what my life has come to?**

**Since there is not much information about John's kids, apart from that one girl is called Katie and she has 3 siblings, i have made some information up so it suits the story. Enjoy! - QueenNothingness**

**I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do**

You would have thought that Marie's life would change much in the months after getting married to someone she barely knows. And it does in a sense.

She is supposed to take care of a bunch of kids she doesn't know, and who are not excited nor accepting of her. They make it very clear they do not want her in their home, nor in their lives.

Her youngest stepson, can she even_ call_ them that?!, is barely four. He is a bit more accepting of her, since the death of his mother is less fresh in his mind than the other kids.

The other children,... Well, it's best she does not elaborate on that.

And there is also the other part that makes her married life less than joyful. Johnny boy_ himself._

He has barely spoken a word to her since they have been married, and though she did not expect him to proclaim his undying love for her, she had at least hoped they could be civil towards each other.

He is barely home, and somewhere she is happy for that, but it does mean she is left more often than not alone with the kids.

**I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away**

In the beginning they ignored her but now, since they see their father does not intervene, the oldest ones can be downright mean and bratty. It's starting to wear on Marie. She understands where they come from, she _really _does, but her patience is wearing thin.

Marie tries to ignore the whispers of the people around her, as Katie and the second oldest child, a boy named George, run ahead of her, screaming and not having a care in the world.

Milly, the third oldest girl, is pulling on Marie's hand, trying to break free. Marie bites her lip, trying to keep quiet, as she really does not want to start shouting at a five-year, almost six-year old in front of a bunch of strangers.

The only who is sitting quietly on her left arm is Arthur, called Artie for short, the four-year old still snoozing from the rude awakening of his siblings that morning.

'Milly, please.' Marie whispers, as Milly starts crying harder, stomping her feet and pulling on her stepmother's fingers. 'We are almost at Aunt Polly's, yeah?'

'Marie!' The blonde-haired girl looks up when she sees Reinke and Eva approach, and she is so happy to see them she almost wants to burst out in tears than and there from sheer exhaustion.

'**That bad, huh?' **Reinke asks in their native tongue, Eva's eyebrows going up in confusion as Marie nods. Eva is quick to call the oldest kids to her, dragging them inside Polly's house, Finn letting out a happy shout when he sees her coming in.

'You look worse for wear, Marie.' Polly says, her gaze falling on Reinke's best friend. 'I had a trying morning. I am not used to caring for such small children.' Marie mutters, allowing Arthur to climb into Polly's awaiting arms.

'Thank you for looking after them, Polly.' The twenty two-year-old eventually whispers, taking her keys and coat. 'That's fine. You go and work, yeah?'

Reinke shouts a goodbye to Eva, dragging Marie outside to Hannah's shop. Marie has reduced the hours she is working, since she cannot work a full-time job and look after four kids.

But she does make enough money on her own, enough so she can put some aside for emergencies. She does not want to live off of John Shelby's money, even if he makes enough to provide for her and his children.

**I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be**

The Saturday flies by, and Marie feels like she can breathe again, even if only for a short while. When she and Reinke approach Polly's house that evening, she is happy to see Reinke's uncle and Ada, with little Karl.

Ada has by far been the nicest to her, and she would even call her something close to a friend. Ada gives her a warm smile when Marie and Reinke enter, Finn and Eva running into their arms.

They are all quick to join the Shelby's for a family dinner, though Reinke and Marie are both more than happy to eat and listen to conversation flow around them.

'We went to the Cut today!' Eva tells excitedly, Reinke giving her younger sister a tired smile. 'Be careful of the water if you take the younger children, Eva. I don't think Milly and Artie can swim.'

'Yes, it's better to be careful, you never know.' Marie adds to the warning, Eva nodding in understanding. 'Are you saying we c an't swim?' Katie at once shouts over dinner, a silence falling over the table.

'That's rich coming from you. You're not even from around here!' George adds, a snort leaving John.

'**Are they always this rude to you?'** Reinke's lips curl back in disgust, a sneer appearing on her face. Peter's worried gaze falls on Marie, who shakes her head.

'**But why? You did nothing wrong!' **Eva sputters, an angry look appearing on her child-like face, as she stares at Katie and George.

'Mind switching back to English, love? Like civilized people?' Arthur asks, Reinke's posture going stiff. 'Civilized people, you say?' Marie's friend lets out a bitter laugh, gearing up for something big to leave her mouth.

'Reinke.' Marie whispers, pleading eyes going to her friend. 'Please. There is no use in fighting about something so trivial. Let it go.'

The blonde-haired woman scoffs, but nods, taking a gulp from her glass of wine. 'But...' Eva sputters, Marie giving her an unreadable look.

'Let it go, Eva. Let's enjoy dinner, yeah? Lord knows I am horrible at cooking. For the one time we eat something decent.' Polly gives her an unreadable look, but the harshness is gone from her eyes, so Marie wonders if maybe she has risen a bit in Polly's good graces.

They stay the night at Polly's house, and for once Marie once more shares a room with Reinke and Eva, and just for that one night, she can pretend her life has not changed that much.

The days bleed into weeks, as Marie tries to get better at her new life. She will never be a house princess, but at least she has gotten better at cooking, and the house looks at least decent.

It is not sparkling clean, but it is liveable.

The children are still well, not exactly the friendliest, but she can see they are less mean and rude. A routine has been established and though she is nothing close to a mother-figure, she can tell a woman in the house does them good.

Katie and George are still somewhat difficult, but Milly and Artie have more or less accepted her, she can tell. And it makes her feel a bit better.

As for John ,well they do not talk much, but the obvious hostility is at least gone.

'Why do we need to go to school, again?' Katie asks, dragging her feet. Marie chuckles, Milly trotting calmly next to her. 'Education is important. You can be whatever you want if you can read and do math.'

George snorts but keeps quiet, a shout making Marie turn around. Eva and Finn come running to them, Reinke not far behind. Without a word she takes Artie from Marie's arms, so her friend is not so weighed down with the little boy and Milly on her other side.

'Have fun at school!' Marie shouts, waving at the children, a small surprised look crossing her face when George and Katie wave back.

They drop Artie and Milly off at Peter's, who is working from home that day, the hours flying by as they work at Hannah's shop.

**I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know**

Marie has just finished working as she walks to the Cut, going to get the kids so they can go home and eat dinner.

'MARIE!' Someone yells, and it is to her shock Katie that is running to her. She can see the girl is crying and that makes the woman in front of her nervous, her heart starting to race.

'What is it?' Marie asks, trying to get the girl to calm down through her hysterical sobbing. 'Milly fell in the Cut!' The girl's eyes widen as her heart starts to hammer in fear. 'Eva tries to get her out, but she she is not strong enough. George and I cannot swim!'

Marie stumbles behind her stepdaughter, taking off running, a surprised shout leaving Arthur and John when they see her pass.

She stops at the Cut, and sees Eva struggling to keep Milly afloat. It is clear as day the twelve-year old is starting to tire quickly. Eva lets out a shout of fear as she starts to sink, the four-year-old in her arms desperately clutching her.

'MARIE!' She hears Reinke call out in shock, Finn and her friend coming running from the other way. Marie does not hesitate and jumps into the water, her dress, stockings and coat filling with cold water in seconds.

Marie swims to the other side, just in time grabbing Eva underneath her arms. 'Marie!' Eva sobs, but Marie holds her up, her legs keeping them afloat. 'Give Milly to me. You hold onto my back.'

Marie grabs the little girl in her arms, Eva grabbing her back as she swims back to shore. Reinke is quick to hoist Milly up, wrapping her up in her coat.

Marie drags Eva out of the water, lying down and taking her breath for a few minutes, ignoring the mud that has drenched her clothes and hair. 'Are you okay, Eva?' Reinke asks, her little sister grabbing her around the middle.

'You did good.' Marie compliments her, and even though they are drenched and cold, Eva gives her a grin.

John's children are silent as Marie sits up, shivering and coughing some of the water out of her lungs. George and Katie are silent as the woman who just saved their sister stands up, and motions for them to follow her.

Milly is sitting on Marie's left arm, Katie grabbing her right hand, George walking silently next to her. Reinke takes a shivering Eva by the hand, Finn not sure what to say as he runs ahead of them to warn Aunt Polly.

The woman lets them in without a sound, asking Finn to fill the bathtub. Marie tells Eva and Milly to go first, but the little girl is insistent Marie stays with her, so Eva goes first.

Marie sips from her glass of wine later that evening, the stress and nerves from that day finally leaving her. She listens to the music playing from the gramophone Polly was so nice to put in her room, stretching her legs.

Milly has been left with Reinke, and for now she is calm. Though Marie suspects that the girl will be scared of water for a while.

'What the fuck are you going on about, Pol?! Milly almost drowned? Where's bloody Marie?!' Polly snaps something at John, and Marie hears the voices diminish as they go back downstairs.

Reinke gives John an unimpressed look, bristling as he is. 'If you would stop shouting for a moment, than your children can explain.' Reinke says, John fuming as she throws him another unimpressed look.

'Milly almost drowned.' Katie admits, a blush appearing on her cheeks. 'Eva told us to be careful at the Cut, but before we knew, she had fallen in.' George nods, trying not to get scared of his father's angry look.

'Eva tried to save her, but she was not strong enough. Marie, she saved them.' Katie whispers, the angry look her father had on his face turning into one of disbelief.

'Marie is taking a bath, since she was muddy all over.' Reinke offers, taking another sip of her glass. 'I think your children need to learn to swim as soon as possible, just in case. And maybe keep Milly and Artie away from the Cut for awhile, until they are older.'

John sits on one of the couches, sighing as his hands go through his hair. 'Yeah, you're right.'

'Do you need help with dinner, Polly?' A voice pipes up, a freshly washed Marie appearing in the doorway. The Shelby woman gives her a soft smile, shaking her head. 'No, you take it slow, love. I'll manage.'

The evening progresses quickly and as Marie puts the children to bed that night, there is no fight unlike other nights. She gives Katie and George a small smile as they thank her again.

'Try and get some sleep. I'll sleep with Milly for tonight, just to make sure she does not have any nightmares. Don't hesitate to wake me up if you need me.'

**I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you**

Marie has just put Milly to bed, as she goes downstairs for another sip of water before bed. John is sitting at the table, quiet, as if he is mulling over something.

'Want something to drink?' Marie asks, John looking up at her entering the kitchen, his eyes stormy with emotion.

'No, I'm good.' His wife nods, sighing as she looks outside, the moon giving the street an eery look.

'Well, goodnight.' She is almost at the stairs when she hears John call her name, her husband seemingly not knowing what to say.

'Thank you, for saving her.' Marie gives him a blinding but tired smile. 'Don't mention it.' She takes another step and than turns again.

'Want to come to bed? I am sure Milly will feel better if you sleep on one side and I on the other.' John seems to hesitate for a second, a devious grin appearing on his wife's lips.' I won't take advantage of you, I promise.'

John snorts at that, but he follows her up to their bedroom. They had been sharing a bed for months, due to lack of space, but they had always kept a distance, John even going as far as putting a line of cushions in between them.

The mattress and bed creaks when they both lie down, Marie biting her lip to stop herself from letting out a giggle as to not wake Milly up.

The last thing she sees is the lazy smirk on her husband's lips, eyes going soft as they bore into hers, when she falls asleep.

And if the next morning, she wakes up pretty much in John's arms with Milly squished in between them, they do not mention it.

And if starting from that moment on, John always tries to come to bed at the same time as her, more often than not ending up with Marie softly snoring in his arms, than that is nobody's business but their own.

**I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you**


End file.
